Richard Travis's MPF application

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Richard Travis's MPF application

Post by Leonde Travis on Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:18 pm

OOC:


Steam name: Askea Wrime


Steam ID:STEAM_0:1:42829024



How long have you been playing on our server? I would say 2 to 3 days mostly



How long have you been serious RPing? A few months


Have you ever been banned from our server? No.


Why should we accept you into the MPF? (1 paragraph minimum, a paragraph is 5 sentences, Answer OOCly) Well being a citizen is nice and all, but being able to be a loyalist or being a rebel can have its perks but it takes a long time to get to the degree of where you want be. I have been playing as an MPF for a while now so I get the basic fundamentals of it. I can adapt to the codes if I have a guide to look at. Some of the resent servers I played while MPF would be Lemonpunch and Freeman gaming. I am also able to provide fairness while a CP if a character just spawn and willing to help oocly.




IC:

Character Name and Physical Description: Richard Travis/6ft/White medium length hair/Brown eyes/C18 Citizen Uniform



Character Age: 22



Have you ever been detained by the MPF or been given any negative reputation by an MPF officer? No.



Tell me about yourself Citizen, where are you from? What did you do before the war?. (1-2 paragraphs minimum, The longer the better, This is basically a backstory. Answer ICly): I was living in the state of Ohio and kind of lived in the shadow of my smarter older brother Leonde. He wanted to be a scientist which he became one, but for me I wanted to be a police technician so I studied law. When I finished school it was a month before the war and I started off as a guy who sits behind a computer at the police station.



Give a brief 15 line example RP of any of the MPF RP. (I.e. Patrolling, Detaining, Gunfight)
/me throws the tied citizen into the cell.
/me would tie the convicted citizen (resist?)
/me pulls out his pistol
/me flicks on his stunstick
/me flicks off his stunstick
/me would administer the citizens punishment (resist or react?)
/me would take off his mask to revitalize
/me would chase the running citizen
/me would open the door
/me tries to bust down the door on his first kick
/me looks at the citizen and says "Hold it. Pick up that can." He points at the can by his feet.
/me salutes the Sec officer
/me would aim at the training dummy
/me inspects where he hit the dummy.
/me would look at the officer next to him "Hmm?"




Why should we accept you into the MPF? What makes you stand out from the rest of the loyal citizens in City Eighteen?
What makes me different from any other loyal citizen is that I can get down when an officer says "Get down." I will follow the orders exactly the way they want it to be done. I am also willing to help stamp out the rebels in our city.


If you were to be accepted into the MPF, what division would you be interested in? (UNION: Standard Parolling unit | HELIX: Medical | GRID: Mechanical/Technical)
Grid



What are your desired digits in the MPF? (IE: 532) 025



Are you a loyal citizen of the Union? Explain how you are. Yes because they brought crime rates down to where they are scarce and I don't have to live in fear by any criminal. So this is why I am applying for the Metro Police Force. To put down the remaining crimes.



I Richard Travis Hereby devote myself to the Universal Union and it's Benefactors. I will uphold the highest standards required from me by the MPF and the Union. If I am found guilty of a crime, I accept it and will allow myself to be given whatever punishment that may be. (Beating, Detaining, De-Servicement, Amputation.)

Leonde Travis

Posts : 11
Join date : 2014-04-25

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Re: Richard Travis's MPF application

Post by American Patriot on Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:45 pm

Alrighty. Where do I begin... (Brace yourself, fair warning).
Your application was lackluster at best. It showed no effort at all, and I am actually almost disgusted by that fact. While I do appreciate
the willingness of a person to join our MPF ranks, you need to put forth some effort, dear lord ANY effort at this point.

CRITICAL points to improve:
~Time on the server (Must be a week)
~Backstory (Wasn't even a paragraph long, as were the parameters. And IDEALLY it should be much longer then that.)
(I also want to go on record that police officers study statutory law, and the codified laws which are set from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. General "law" studies are very broad, and span from criminal to civil law, and anything in between. Please be more specific, and perhaps even do some research (very modest research) so that when you make your application, it sounds prepared.)

Major points to improve:
~Backstory content. (It would be nice to have a detailed story of your life. We all love reading them, and it will prove to us that you are DEVOTED to the RP, and not just some random person hoping to get a gun and shoot any citizen you see running.)
~Reason for acceptance. (Wanting to wipe out the rebels isn't good enough. It is such a blanket term! You need to state how being in the MPF, and more specifically that division will allow you to achieve the goals of the Universal Union first and foremost, and then your own personal goals (As they coincide with the Union's best interests.))
~Loyalty to the UU. (You had stated that the Combine had cracked down upon crime, and you wanted to as well. That (with improvement) would be applicable to the *Reason for Acceptance* question. As it stands, your answer on this field is completely null, and must be changed.)

Please consider these points, and know that these criticisms are made to be CONSTRUCTIVE. Please use the above points to improve your application, and use the time you have to improve to study RP styles, other applications, and perhaps read up on the MPF ranks, codes, etc. For now as it stands, I give a -Support. I look forward to reading the revised edition.

____________________________________________________________
~It takes less effort to do something right the first time, then to try to explain why you didn't.

~Those who know themselves and their enemy should not fear the outcomes of 100 battles. Those who know themselves but not their enemy will suffer defeat as many times as they taste victory. Those who do not know themselves nor their enemy will lose every confrontation

~Ultimately, the best medicine for a broken heart is the one we are least willing to take: Time.
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American Patriot

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Location : United States of America
Job/hobbies : Enjoying and Teaching Role Play

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Re: Richard Travis's MPF application

Post by Leonde Travis on Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:54 pm

Ouch but thank you for the feed back.

Leonde Travis

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Re: Richard Travis's MPF application

Post by Baker on Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:59 pm

Before I review any of this I am going to nor give + or - support and tell you to get some time on the server.

Thanks.

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Re: Richard Travis's MPF application

Post by Leonde Travis on Mon Apr 28, 2014 4:00 pm

Just decline it for now. I will revise it later when I get the week in.

Leonde Travis

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Re: Richard Travis's MPF application

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